Pangea Lost
There are probably thousands of things we take for granted. Part of our fragile human psyche depends on certain assumptions of constancy in our world. It all goes back to Maslow's hierachy; meeting basic security needs is necesary before one can even begin self actualization. We need to believe that the ground is solid before we can build anything on it. One thing we take for granted is the memories of things we have left behind.
Back in high school, I was in a rock band and we played at all of the school assemblies, talent shows and other events of the like. We weren't the only regulars though, in fact we were mere journeymen to the Aurora assembly scene (yeah, so it was the only shows we ever played, I don't care, I'm still calling it a "scene"), another band comprised of older more talented musicians always "headlined" any "gig" we played at. And by more talented, I mean VASTLY more talented. They were as legendary as you could get in a suburban high school. They blew me away every time I saw them and I was always honoured to warm the stage up for 'em. I will always have fond memories of that little aspect of my personal history.
I just found out the other day that this band that I once admired, is now broken up for good. I always thought that they would be guaranteed fame, and I could count on being able to say "I opened for those guys in high school" whenever their latest hit single came on the radio. But it seems castles made of sand melt into the sea...
It just goes to show you that your memory of something you haven't seen in a while is not an accurate, current representation of that thing. I go back to Aurora High School now and it is a completely different place. In my memory, Mr Steep still teaches history on the third floor across from the weight room. I can always find a friendly face in the student council office and everyone knows my name in the music hall. In reality I walk down those halls and I don't recognize a damned face. Everything I ever accomplished is forgotten and someone recognizing the lost look on my face, points me in the direction of the main office for me to sign in as a visitor to the place I once considered a second home...double doors on the left across from the entrance...yeah thanks, I used to go here actually...
Despite our assumptions, nothing ever stays the same, and you can never go back to the way things once were. Today I'm grateful for everything I have, and bitter for everything precious I have lost the question is, what does that make me now?
The band was Pangea, check them out, they were very good.
1 Comments:
I know exactly how you feel.
I had a lot of friends in high school who were younger than me, so after my first year of university I could still go back there and not be weird. But then they left, and the people younger than them left at the same time.
I don't think I have any friends in high school anymore. But hey, that's life. The only constant in the universe is change. Everything ends — but you shouldn't necessairly be depressed by that.
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