2006: A reminiscence

...you know what fuck 2006.




Come on, let's push this one to the limit.

The real true spirit of Hutzmas

In the slackjawed hustle and bustle of our tired-eyed blogospheric world, it's easy to forget the pristine pastoral pastimes of the past. Especially so, for the ones that never even existed. With school finishing everybody avidly exodousing campus, Hutzmas is quickly approaching, and the time for random contentment is at hand.

I think you guys have been with the program for long enough, that we'r all ready for a true Hutzmas, according to the ancient traditions that I made up. Although Hutzmas is officially on December 13th, one isn't supposed to actually celebrate anything then. Traditionally, the actual day of Hutzmas is met with apathy, it is, and rightfully should be, taken for granted, like most things in life. What follows, however is the 13 days of Hutzmas, in which we ponder upon the virtues inherent to Hutzmas, like thrift, and non-sequiters. Then on the 26th, which Christians call "Boxing Day," we celebrate.

Also, this Boxing Day marks a year since my little incident, which, incidentally, means my driver's license is no longer suspended. Plenty excuse to party. It'll be a spastic seizurebration!

Heartfully,
Darren

p.s. I am allowed to make that joke, once. I checked.

Dear Winter

Dear Winter,

Hi its me, December! Remember me? Aren't you supposed to be here? I mean, I heard about your one-night stand with november, but then you just up and vanished to Greenland or something, while I'm here in Waterloo waiting for snow. Fall is getting really old, its into pissing and I was cool with that for a while, but now its starting to irritate me. Look, I won't scold you for being late, just please come back and I'll forgive you.

Awaiting you desparately,
December

p.s. you really shouldn't get November's hopes up like that.